Life moves us along..

My little Tay was worrying in the back seat on the way to the park earlier this week. "Mommy.... Mommy what do I say when the kids ask, why do you have on that mask?" You tell them you wear it to keep you healthy, I respond. "Mommy? Mommy what do I say when the kids say, "Tay Tay where is your hair?" You say, I don't have any hair, but someday I will, I tell her. And although it was cloudy out, I put my sunglasses on. I consoled myself, and took my two little loves to the park. I said a million tiny prayers that kids wouldn't tease her, and that their mothers would be a little more discreet with their stares. Most mornings Taylor will still confirm that we are not going to radiation. I love being able to say no. I can't tell her never again, and I wish I could. She will have a scan in a few weeks that will let us know if all of "this" has been working. If 30 weeks of chemo, and 5 weeks of radiation did what we prayed it would do. So there is that... looming over us....waking me at night. I think it is just my minds way of protecting my heart, preparing myself for the worst, and hoping for the best.

We are so lucky to have this incredible support system of people who love us, pick us up, and dust us off over and over again. Sometimes I feel like Chris is forgotten in all this, and I just wanted to make sure I mention how wonderful he is.... I think I am blushing. Although he isn't writing, divulging, and openly sharing his experience... he is in this with me one hundred percent. He is kissing away her ouchies, rocking away her nightmares, tricking her into taking yucky meds, distracting her with games, and calming us all with his happy-go-lucky attitude. He may not be there physically every single time we are at Riley, but he is there. When he is able to come to the hospital, he seems to take stressful situations and slow them down a bit. He makes calm, calculated decisions, and reassures me that we are doing the right thing. I can't imagine how hard it would be to put on a happy face every day at work, field questions with composure, and focus on other people's children when his own is going through so much. He is absolutely the best dad I could ever wish for to our kids. I know this kills him to watch her go through this, and I know that we were meant to walk this journey together. Well, that is enough of all that...hehe. On a lighter note.. Taylor found one of Chris' school pictures today and squealed, "Daddy doesn't have hair... does he have cancer too?!!" I couldn't help but giggle, and tell her that he cuts it like that to look like her. She seemed satisfied, and tucked the picture in her pocket. Life is still really sweet, happy, and full.