Undoing...

Life feels so wonderful right now. The days fly by, and I remember when I once counted the hours, minutes... seconds until our day could just be done. Sleep was the only form of escape, and morning always came to soon. We are in the thick of "undoing". I am carefully wading through the damage a year of treatment has done on Tay, Max, Chris, and honestly, myself. I watch her beautiful lashes grow in, her blond hair cover her once bald head, her cheeks fill out, and it warms my heart and terrifies me at the same time. Chemo is working it's way out of her body, and fear keeps waking me at night. I know where we have been, and can't imagine going back. So I humble myself daily. I give more than I get. I pray for her constantly. And I continue to "undo". Some days I feel totally unqualified to be her mother. I'm just a girl who loves her kid, I just want her to be ok, I just want to lessen the damage of what has taken place, I just can't go back. Scans are creeping up again, and tonight, four some more years of this seems like alot. So, I humble myself, and remember that I am so blessed to have my girl. I can't ask for anything more. Each day we begin again. And life resumes.