Happy Happy Day!

There was a time when I dreaded birthdays, aging, the whole nine yards. Now, it hurts my heart when people moan about another birthday passing. Really? Aging is a privilege! My three year old fought to earn her birthday this year, and I should be so lucky to have every fine line on my face...eek! Today is my birthday, and what a wonderful day it turned out to be. It feels like there was a divine intervention today, and I got a free pass. Taylor slept through the night without getting sick after ten hours of chemo! She woke up happy, and...knock on wood, has not been sick once today. Miss Thing even had a time out today, which means she was really feeling good. Our local radio station is doing a fundraiser for the Make A Wish Foundation, and asked me to speak on the radio to help raise money for our sweet girl's Disney trip. The wish was fulfilled in less than five minutes. Really?!  I'm still in shock. How many hearts has my little one touched? How many lives has this little warrior changed? My baby gets her wish, and of course there is nothing I want more than her happiness, and for her to be so blessed to have a 32nd birthday someday too.



Thankful

We have come so far. I look at my bald little beauty, and watch her lashless little eyes still sparkle despite all she has gone through. She is now a little girl, wise beyond her years, and has changed the hearts of so many. I walked past the bell today....the one I won't dare touch for 10 more treatments. I think about it ringing, and it makes me cry. We have so much to be thankful for. My gosh, thank goodness I found that bump. Thank goodness we have access to one of the best children's hospitals in the country. Thank goodness chemo and radiation are working. Thank goodness we have the most amazing friends and family who have cheered us on the whole way through this. We have ten treatments left after today! I can show Taylor on two hands. I can't tell you how amazing that feels. A nurse said, "I can't believe you are almost done, this has gone so quick!" But not for us, not for Taylor. While life goes on for most, we are still here, fighting for our girl, and so incredibly thankful all this is saving her life.

 

 



Denial..

Last night I asked Taylor if she wanted to go to the mall in the morning. She looked at me shocked, and said, "YES, lets BUY stuff." Chris seemed a little puzzled, and reminded me not to go crazy. Max woke us all at 6am this morning, bless his little heart for sleeping in. Yes, that is sleeping in for Mr. Max. I packed the diaper bag, lugged the double stroller in the car, and got the kids dressed. Taylor pranced around the house, Max followed clapping and cheering for whatever was making his big sissy so excited. I backed out of the driveway and into the snow/slush mix that was dumping from the sky. I could hear that inner voice saying, "You know you are in isolation, no mall today mama, go get some tea." So we drove to Starbucks, Max yelled "HOT MAMA!" to the barista, and Taylor stared quietly out the window. "Mommy, Mommy, let's go home, my legs are too sleepy for the mall today." My heart hurt, and I said, "I know lovie, mine are too." Isolation can be really lonely. Sometimes it feels like life is moving along, and we are just stuck. I love Chris for humoring me, he knew we weren't going to the mall. I love Taylor for being wise beyond her three precious years, and I love Max for being such a good sport. 12 more treatments. 12 more treatments. 12 more treatments...