Denial..

Last night I asked Taylor if she wanted to go to the mall in the morning. She looked at me shocked, and said, "YES, lets BUY stuff." Chris seemed a little puzzled, and reminded me not to go crazy. Max woke us all at 6am this morning, bless his little heart for sleeping in. Yes, that is sleeping in for Mr. Max. I packed the diaper bag, lugged the double stroller in the car, and got the kids dressed. Taylor pranced around the house, Max followed clapping and cheering for whatever was making his big sissy so excited. I backed out of the driveway and into the snow/slush mix that was dumping from the sky. I could hear that inner voice saying, "You know you are in isolation, no mall today mama, go get some tea." So we drove to Starbucks, Max yelled "HOT MAMA!" to the barista, and Taylor stared quietly out the window. "Mommy, Mommy, let's go home, my legs are too sleepy for the mall today." My heart hurt, and I said, "I know lovie, mine are too." Isolation can be really lonely. Sometimes it feels like life is moving along, and we are just stuck. I love Chris for humoring me, he knew we weren't going to the mall. I love Taylor for being wise beyond her three precious years, and I love Max for being such a good sport. 12 more treatments. 12 more treatments. 12 more treatments...