I soak up the mornings where I can watch her sleepy smile stretch across her face as I tell her we don't have any doctors appointments that day. Sometimes she hops around her room, dancing and prancing a little "no hopkittle day" dance. I witness the simple joys of swinging, bubble baths, and sibling fun with her baby brother. A few nights ago Taylor and Max were swinging side by side, and Taylor squealed, "We are SWINGERS, we swing at NIGHT!" Oh dear.... Did I mention that my baby boy has grown up in the midst of all this? He turns one next week, and this has been his journey too. We are so lucky to have such a forgiving and happy little guy. It isn't easy to leave your baby every day, to miss things...but I know he forgives me and wants his big sissy better. I know it.
I prioritize my worries at this point. I focus on getting meds in, food down, and pain under control. I can't worry about all the things she is missing out on, because everything can wait. But sometimes worry creeps into my heart when I notice a somber, pensive mood wash over Taylor. What she needs doesn't come in a bottle, or through an IV. It requires a 45 minute car ride. If I can just get her there, and into the arms of her best medicine, her best friend, her main source of strength.....my 3 year old nephew. He doesn't see cancer, he sees Taylor, and I love him for it. He is the smartest, kindest, and most amazing little healer I know. During her first long stay at the hospital, we taped a picture of Drew to her hospital bed. I watched her trace her fingers around the outline of his face every day....missing him. He gives me hope, he believes in her one hundred percent, and I often need those visits with Drew as much as Taylor does. We love you Andrew!
Beautiful post, Brooke! Its simply beautiful that you are able to see positive things through all of this. And yes, Drew would certainly brighten up any day for anyone. Children heal others in ways most of us cannot comprehend. I'm certain this will be the case for Taylor. Under the amazing models of Kristen and Marc, Drew lights up a room, lights up Tay's life and his light is serving as a healing force for her right now. How lucky they are to have this special bond! Taylor lights up all of our worlds as well and serves as a role model for many of us. Taylor defines what is really important in life- the small things that we are all fortunate to have right before us and often don’t appreciate, but those most of all to appreciate health and family! Love to you all, aunt deb
ReplyDeleteBrooke,
ReplyDeleteI think you & Chris are exceptionally strong people & your little babies are lucky to have you as their parents. I've never met your family but your story has touched my heart in a way I'll never forget. I've been praying for strength & healing & will continue to do so. I participated is last weekends 100 mile race & I'd do it again in a heartbeat...running for Taylor. Stay strong. God bless.