Our little love turned 5 today. I sorted through pictures of her and couldn't bring myself to say anything about wanting to "stop the clock", or "freeze time", or "never let her grow up". My mommy goals for her are just the opposite. Every month that she moves closer to remission is a milestone. Every day outside treatment is an absolute blessing. And although my heart is not in absolute anguish anymore, I remember the feeling all too well. I am stunned by the way God has blessed our lives since Taylor's diagnosis. I am grateful for the way He changed our hearts, and redefined our priorities. I have so many hopes and dreams for Taylor. Yesterday our home was filled with friends, numerous times she pulled me aside to double check that they were her friends there to celebrate her birthday. Friends!?, how fun to finally have friends. She flips and spins and bounces at her gymnastics classes, she shoots hoops tirelessly with her daddy in our driveway, she whirls and twirls with her baby brother in our family room to her favorite songs.... and I have moments where fear will wrap around my heart and leave me terrified that her cancer may come back. I put my blinders on and force myself to look ahead. To enjoy this day. And to be grateful for this beautiful girl that made me a mommy. We are one year and 7 months post treatment, oh my gosh, so blessed. Just typing those words made me cry. Thank you so much for your continued prayers for our sweet girl. Scans are creeping up, October 9th, and I feel myself moving into panic mode. So I put my blinders back on, I remind myself to be thankful for this day and the health of my amazing 5 year old. Life is much sweeter with her in it.
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