I hope you dance...

We have started living again. There, I said it. I am letting go of all my guilt for keeping Taylor home and isolated. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was safe. But we started living, and it feels GOOD. I scheduled play dates. I started going places. And today she danced. I watched her totter on her tippy toes, leap through the air in her precious pink tights, and interlock her little fingers with a little girl in her class to hold hands. She made a new friend. My achy, sore heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest with joy for her. Tears were rolling down my face as I watched her prance about. This is her thing, her happy place. I found it.

Of course it was straight to the tub when we got home. Of course I know she may get sick. But we must start living. No matter what the outcome of all this is, we must live life out to the fullest every day in between. It feels good to have a reason to get dressed, to talk with other moms, to feel normal again. Scans are less than a month away, and I needed something to lift the gloom. To push away the dark cloud hovering over us. I can't tell you how much I want this to be over for her. There is so much to do in this short life. In the mean time, we are living.