In the end....

I believe,that in the end only kindness matters. I believe, that you should always give more than you get. I saw a Kmart commercial today about a "Layaway Giveaway," and it featured this really fortunate looking woman, and flashed a big sceen tv and some other non-essential items. I wondered about the people who have three perfect toys on layaway, for their three perfect children. Those who are working an extra shift to make sure their kids know that Santa did not forget them. It hurt my heart. It made me feel guilty, and reminded me that the best way to give is without waiting for a thank you, a pat on the back, or a confirmation of how wonderful you are.

Last week, while we were staying on the oncology unit, Tay's little neighbor touched my heart. She is 6, with stage 4 leukemia. Her mom's neglect broke my heart a million times during our stay. Our little neighbor spent most of her time alone, very sick, and calling out for her mommy that was....unavailable. I tried hard not to judge her mom. There is no handbook for this, and I am very blessed to have a huge support system, but you better believe that when my baby is calling for me.... I will be there. She..... wasn't. So, I took care of her. We opened up the curtain, shared toys, songs, and anything else that would pass the time. At one point she was getting sick, so I stood by her bed,  and dabbed her head with a cool cloth. She looked up and said "you're pretty," and then slumped back in her bed. I wasn't pretty. I was tired and disheveled, but she saw kindness, and that was pretty to her. What a doll. What a precious, little, kind thing. The next day she was moved to isolation due to illness, and she cried out for me. It shocked me and broke my heart. Just two days after meeting this little girl, and she cried out for me. It opened my heart....my eyes.... to so many little kids...right here in Indiana who need loving parents and guardians. So I continue to wrestle with this...what can I do? How do I help the masses? It will come to me....and one day I will find a way to GIVE BIG.