Happy...

I can sleep. I have these beautiful night sleeps now. I don't wake in the night and cry myself back to sleep. I don't go peek in my little girls room, and beg God to let her outlive me. I cry happy tears. I don't cup my cries in my hands, or mask my eyes with my sunglasses. My tears don't burn my cheeks anymore. I have renewed strength. I know that I can fight through these last 5 months of treatment, and have my eye on the prize. I can see the light. I got my hair done, I made myself doctor appointments, I planned a date with Chris, and I bought some jeans that fit. I started caring again...... about me. I can't stop smiling. I can't stop dreaming of all that is to come. Clear scans, my gosh clear scans.